I have joined the roster of strangers in strange lands profiled on a relatively new website called Expat Interviews, designed as a guide for people who are considering abandoning their homelands to see if some other country enjoys life more.

They are legion who have decided that America, Britain and Australia prefer to make war rather than love and went in search of more peaceful surroundings. In my case I fled the War on Snow and sought out the tropical extremities, hoping Buddhism would embrace me. For those of us who chose Thailand, we’ve all pretty much had the same reaction: “What??? Oh … oh, well, never mind, I’m staying anyway.”

You get over the initial shock. Eventually.

Webmaster Victor in the Netherlands set up the site and with freelance writer Lizza in the Philippines contacts exiles around the world and asks them to fill out a pretty painless questionnaire. Last I looked I was one of 12 expatriates in Thailand who’ve offered analyses. My profile is here.

Other recent recruits have included New Zealander Jacqui in Japan, German Susanne in China and Dutchwoman Rose in Turkey. The site certainly makes for some interesting reading. I wish it had existed before I came to Thailand — it might have saved me some trouble figuring things out for myself.

The #1 song in America on August 3, 1953, the day I was born (in England), according to Billboard magazine, was “Vaya con Dios (May God Be with You)” by Les Paul & Mary Ford. This tune, which I’d never heard of apart from the line heard in tough-guy movies, has also been recorded by Chet Atkins, Gene Autry, Pat Boone, Rocky Burnette, Nat King Cole, Bing Crosby, the Drifters, Freddy Fender, Julio Iglesias, the Lennon Sisters, the McGuire Sisters, Nana Mouskouri, Tony Orlando & Dawn, Hank Snow, Mel Tormé, Jerry Vale, Roger Whittaker and many others. It’s got staying power, apparently.

It had replaced Eddie Fisher’s “I’m Walking Behind You” in the top position two days earlier, and stayed there all the way through October 3, when it was bumped off by the novelty tune “St George and the Dragonet” by Stan Freberg that spoofed the legend and the TV show “Dragnet”.

This got me thinking: Who are these people?? No actually, I am old enough to have heard of them all, have actually played the guitar that Les Paul invented, and often ogled Eddie Fisher’s one-time wife Elizabeth Taylor. (Fisher had a variety series on NBC in 1953 called “Coke Time with Eddie Fisher”. Ah ha ha ha ha!)

But it did get me strolling backward and forward through the years to see what else Americans (and presumably Canadians) were listening to on my birthdays. In many cases, as it turned out, that should read “were forced to listen to”, because there’s always a lot of garbage on pop radio. The charts over the years, however, managed to confirm my suspicion that the garbage is smellier today.

Billboard’s hit history dates back to 1890, when “Semper Fidelis” by the US Marine Band was, not surprisingly, a big smash. But what are we talking about here, gramophone sales? There’s more!

Too much TV in the family’s life lately, so I took everyone out for some sightseeing. Man, what a town! Hey, did you know there’s a Simpsons movie out now?

Egged on by a tinge of pride and the taint of vanity, but mostly just seeking another signature to brand the world with, I wanted a family coat of arms. A quick look at the Internet Machine came up with a “Dorsey crest” but it won’t do at all.

For one thing, you’re paying some company money for a piece of artwork — on a scroll, a plaque, stationery, a necktie and/or a keyring — that is probably about as authentic as the Internet’s retail department. Maybe it’s got some actual historic basis, maybe it doesn’t.

For another thing, the one I saw offered at two websites (which might well both belong to the same company) is full of crosses and a five-petal flower I don’t recognise. The bull is fine for my wife Ae, a Taurus, but that could be amalgamated in other ways in a different design.

I’m not even impressed with the knight’s helmet (though everybody’s crests on these websites seem to have one). Christianity and war certainly go hand in hand, but that’s why I’m not thrilled about having either one in my house.

I don’t mind the motto too much — “Un dieu, un roi” — “one god, one king”. But I figured I could do better than that too. There’s more!

Having followed Clan Dorsey through the good times and the better and then right into the swamp during the English Civil War, which almost did them in, we find the family granted a second chance across the Atlantic, where the story gets interesting again during the War Between the States.

The Union-vs-Confederacy punch-up has fascinated me since I was kid, possibly something to do with reincarnation. I often suspected I’d been on the losing side in that civil war too. I had a rebel cap when I was a kid, a present from an aunt in New York, no less. Slavery was an abhorrence, of course, but I get all weepy when I hear “Dixie”.

The most moving “theatre” experience of my life was on a visit to Stone Mountain outside Marietta, Georgia, where they have a light-and-sound show against the massive rock itself depicting Generals Lee and Stonewall Jackson and Confederate President Jeff Davis, as well as the Stars ‘n’ Bars. Whatever guilt any northerner might feel watching it melts away when Willie Nelson sings “Georgia on My Mind” and they play “Dixie”. Not too far away is the site of the Battle of Kennesaw Mountain, where Sherman wasted 3,000 Union lives trying to show off.

It would be a rare thing to be reincarnated with your name intact, but at any rate, the soldiers named Dorsey I’ve come across in US Civil War accounts have come from both sides of the Mason-Dixon Line. There’s more!