Dorseyland can be regarded as a joke in itself, but a couple of specimens of the original species have recently been submitted by regular visitors Lydia, the first one, and Joe, uh, the second one …

A man who’s just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive black suit. His widow, though, says she always thought her husband looked best in blue and wants him buried in a blue suit.
She gives the mortician a blank cheque and says, “I don’t care what it costs, please have him in a blue suit for the viewing.”
The next day she’s delighted to find him wearing a gorgeous blue suit. And then she’s astonished when the mortician presents gives her back the blank cheque.
“A deceased gentleman about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday and was wearing an attractive blue suit,” the mortician explains. “I asked his wife if she’d like to see him buried in a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.
“So I switched the heads.”

Ha-HAH!

Sorry! Let’s move on quickly …

You’re driving in a car at a constant speed. On your right side is a valley and on your left side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.

Still nothing? Come ON, lighten up!