Dorseyland is taking a leaf from the book of the Burmese generals, who earlier this year plucked their administrative capital up by its roots in Rangoon and fled to the hills, the better to hide from the world. (See aerial snapshot below of the new, top-secret, no-girls-allowed capital Pyinmana.)

………BREAKING NEWS: The generals have changed the name of the new capital to Nay Pyi Taw, just to keep everybody on their toes. Click here for hourly name-change updates to your mobile!…….

We’ve shifted our base to an offshore island, and apart from the map above, henceforth refuse to give out any information on our whereabouts. The last time we showed everyone where we lived, via Google Earth, there was a massive queue of spam salesmen at the door wanting to sell us luxury wristwatches, repay some non-existent loan for us or get us to co-inherit 30 million US dollars with them through a lawyer in Lagos, Nigeria.

(We went to Lagos and, would you believe it, there was no money.)

(The wristwatch kept excellent time for well over three days, however.)

Goodbye and, thanks, we’ll get our own fish.