Boy oh boy, are we in a pickle now. Thailand was already teetering like a bucket of water on a dorm room door before some nutcase smashed the Erawan Shrine to bits in downtown Bangkok on Tuesday.

Of course the fact that he was promptly beaten to death by the, uh, deeply religious fans of the sacred Hindu chapel doesn’t improve things one bit. Some wicked karma be settin’ to be comin’ our way and no mistake.

Tuesday – maybe coincidentally, maybe not – was also a day of distractions at The Nation, where I work (and all photos in this post, by the way, are from The Nation – thanks, fellas). First there was a bevy of beribboned beauty queens bevying hastily to and fro. I don’t know why, but they left so quickly it was as though they suddenly realised they were in the wrong place entirely, and perhaps they were. Then a bunch of blokes costumed as cartoon characters (I think it was Ultraman and friends, but I’m not sure), came through, a-waving and a-wai’ing. They were ushered past me someplace down the aisle. I think The Nation has some sort of room for these special visitors, but whatever awaits them there clearly didn’t appeal to the beauty queens.

The usual mob of news desk reporters then emerged from their first editorial meeting of the day, more raucous than usual because they’d been alerted that a third group of visitors was outside the building. It seems about 100 motorcycle-taxi drivers and food vendors from up the highway in Samut Prakan province had dropped by to protest Nation policy.

This was a little lick from the flames currently engulfing downtown Bangkok, where tens of thousands of people are camped out outside the parliament buildings trying to get the prime minister to quit. The Nation is too, so the protest at our front door wouldn’t have been a surprise except that the newspaper’s offices are far, far from downtown, in a suburb light years away from the action.

As briefly as humanly possible: The prime minister, having dodged a legal bullet early in his premiership for being too freaking rich to be a politician, recently got the rest of his family to sell off their shares too in the telecommunications company he founded. They sold them to a company linked to the Singaporean prime minister for a horkillion dollars and paid zero cents in tax, upsetting the Thai middle class, which then overheard Sondhi Limthongkul, an angry news media magnate/disgruntled ex-friend of Thaksin, chanting “Thaksin awk-pai” (Thaksin get out) in a park and joined in, as did The Nation.

Co-shit disturbers Sondhi Limthongkul and Chamlong Srimuang.

Also showing up about this time was Chamlong Srimuang, a former Bangkok governor who practises some weird voodoo of his own and still can’t seem to shake off the guilt for leading protesters to their deaths in the May 1992 anti-government uprising. Soon everyone was screaming “Thaksin awk-pai!” over and over, so Thaksin split. He fled the capital and headed north to his old hometown of Chiang Mai so he could ride elephants and prove he was still popular.

Yes, Thaksin pointed out that the vast majority of the population still think he’s swell, so no way he’s leaving. The vast majority of the population does indeed love him because they’re very poor and he keeps giving them very free stuff, paid for by the middle class. The PM says here’s what we’ll do: we’ll have an election in, say, a month. Quick work!

The opposition parties call a boycott, though, and the little dinky parties are staring oblivion in the face because most of their members have been members for less than 90 days, meaning they can’t run for election. So basically Thaksin’s ruling party, Thai Rak Thai (Thais Love Thais, Honest), is contesting the election on its own.

None of this seems very democratic, does it? But Thaksin isn’t fazed. He has said before and he’ll say it again that Thailand can’t afford democracy yet.

Anyway, amid all the shouting and gnashing of teeth, The Nation had a little scoop on Monday: The Privy Council, which speaks for the King, had booted Thaksin out as official greeter for the many heads of state due in town in June to celebrate the King’s 60th anniversary on the throne (yes, he’s the world’s longest-reigning monarch). The next day the Privy Council secretary said nuh-uh, The Nation is wrong, and threatened to sue, etc, etc.

That’s why the mob from Samut Prakan came to lay siege to Fortress Nation on Tuesday. A man with a Thai Rak Thai megaphone shouted that we’re biased. Maybe we are.

So things have been pretty jumpy. The election’s in a few days, on April 2. The protesters have Government House surrounded. The prime minister said if he’s re-elected, he wants all 19 million of his supporters to form a security echelon around him so he can get back into his office. He’s plenty tired of riding elephants around upcountry.

With all this madness around, you can almost (I said “almost”) empathise with the maniac who smashed up the historic Erawan Shrine, which though a Brahmin site is pretty special for Thai Buddhists too. Hence the dire predictions, not just about the loss of a million Hong Kong, Singapore and Taiwan tourists a year (sez a guy from the Thai Hotels Association), but about Thailand’s very existence. This is the URL for the following story, but The Nation website keeps misplacing stories, so who knows? (I didn’t edit this by the way, so watch your shins.)

Astrologers foresee bloodshed, bad times

Destruction of the revered Brahma statue in central Bangkok is a bad omen, many astrologers warned yesterday.

They said the incident signalled that all political parties should urgently try to negotiate a solution or else tragedies would befall the country. They also called for the renovation of the sacred statue at an auspicious time, which could help improve the country’s overall situation.

“The incident portends that something bad will happen. If the upcoming general election goes ahead, bad things will happen,” said Surattaphong Suwannarat of the Astrological Association of Thailand (AAT).
He called on relevant parties to prioritise national interests and begin talks as soon as possible. “Negotiations could ease the situation,” he said.

Surattaphong said the destruction of the sacred statue had demoralised a large number of “faithful” people and it was necessary to boost their morale by urgently repairing it at an auspicious time.
Pinyo Pongcharoen, another famous astrologer, said the sacred being had issued a warning to all parties that they must negotiate.

“The Brahma has four faces and now there are apparently four sides in the country: the government, the opposition parties, the People’s Alliance for Democracy and poor-people demonstrators,” Pinyo said. He said if these four groups of people turned to each other, the country would be at peace again.
AAT vice chairman Wiwat Jareogsiri said the destruction of the Brahma statue was connected with the country’s horoscope, which was currently not good.

“When the country’s horoscope is not good, this affects many things. Now that the sacred Brahma statue is destroyed, the country’s economy may suffer,” he said.

Wiwat also recommended renovation of the sacred statue at an auspicious time, which would help ensure that everything would be fine. Asked about the ongoing political conflicts, he declined to judge who was good or bad.

“But after the middle of next month, things should improve,” he predicted. Another astrologer, Samrit Klomkliang, said destruction of such a sacred statue was a bad omen for the country and it was very ominous given the fact the destroyer was mentally ill and he was lynched to death.

“This is blood sacrifice,” he said. Samrit interpreted the incident as a sign that caretaker Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra should step down from power or else bloodshed would occur.

“This ominous incident happened during political turmoil. Things that have never happened did happen during the incumbent administration,” he said.

However, AAT chairman Thanakorn Sinkasem said the destruction of the Brahma statue was not a bad omen for the country. He explained that the country’s horoscope in the religious aspect was not good at the moment.

“If you notice, you will see that many monks have come out to join protests this year,” he said.
Thanakorn said Thailand’s birthday was on April 21, 1782, and prediction had it that the country would fall into difficulties when it turned 224 years old. He said the situation would improve after the country’s upcoming birthday.