Kids can be a lot of fun too – and in far northern Ontario, snowmobiles and airplanes can add to that fun – but they sure can be a handful, and young Stephen still isn’t finished with his trips to the hospital. It’s a good thing Lydia’s learning to drive!

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That fall we switched Stephen to the public school because he wasn’t doing well under the new teacher and was in danger of failing Grade 3. I thought it was too early to make this kind of a decision, so changing schools was my only option. He did well in the new school and we had no problems until the cousins next door started picking on him, then we had a whole new set of problems.

The cousin who was eight years older than Stephen threatened him with all sorts of harm, and one day chased him off the bus, grabbed him, roughed him up and threw him in the air. Stephen landed in a snow-filled ditch.

I saw what had happened and questioned Stephen, finding out he didn’t want to tell me of the abuse his cousins were inflicting on him on the bus. I called the older boy and, when told it was none of my business what he did to Stephen, I called the police. When Jack got home and heard the story he agreed with me, and we had a meeting with a policeman, who then went to see the bully. I don’t know what was said there, but that night Jack’s brother, their father, came over and told us we better not ever call the law on his son again. I loved the way Jack stood up to his older brother and told him that, in that case, he better tell his children to leave Stephen alone. Everything was quiet for quite a while.

The new boys up the road played here quite a lot, and one day I found a pack of cigarettes that Stephen had hidden. After school I made him smoke the whole pack, which he did with an air of coolness, and nothing more was said about it. Next day he came home from school in tears, saying he couldn’t taste anything and thought it was a permanent condition of smoking. I assured him it would go away, and that was the only time Stephen ever smoked. He later told me the new boys rolled and smoked dried hay in the barn, until their youngest brother complained to his mother that they wouldn’t let him smoke. They bought the cigarettes and Stephen hid them here so they could smoke without little brother seeing them. But I found the package, ending that.

Brother and his wife now had four children, the last one, Timmy, born the same year as Jeff, and Sister-in-Law was hospitalised with post-partum depression soon after giving birth. She now was even stricter with the children than before, and Tony was getting the worst of it. Whenever we visited we heard complaints about how Tony’s behaviour was so bad and how he always got into trouble at school. I felt so sorry for him, but could do nothing to help him, yet.

Shortly after we were married, Jack’s sister-in-law left her six children and took off for the summer. The youngest, Paul, came to stay with us and the other children were spread around among other relatives. We had a lot of fun with Paul when we took him to Hamilton with us when Stephen had his doctor’s appointment. Paul observed everything with fresh eyes and comments. Seeing a plane landing at Pearson Airport as we were driving in the opposite direction, he asked why the plane was going backwards. On a city bus he looked out over the cars below us and asked why we were flying over the cars. He enjoyed all the places we visited and loved playing in Jeff’s wading pool. Shortly before school started, his mother re-appeared as if nothing happened and he went home.

We again had Paul staying with us when his mother took off just before Christmas – that’s him and Stephen in the photo, decorating the tree – but this time she didn’t stay away too long and was back in early January. But we got a call from Mother to come and get Jeff because Sister again couldn’t look after him. Jeff was no trouble, and I couldn’t understand why there were all those problems minding their own child, but I wasn’t aware of what went on in the home.

We enjoyed Jeff and he was like part of our family instead of Sister’s. I made him a winter jacket to keep him warm in our northern climate, and we attended the Englehart Winter Carnival, where both boys loved the snowmobile races.

We had to take Jeff back in early March and saw Stephen’s doctor at the same time, to see how his arm was straightening. These twice-a-year trips took a lot out of us, but they had to be done until Stephen’s bones stopped growing and an operation could be performed. His ninth birthday party was attended mainly by the new children and a few friends, filling our trailer to capacity. Jack took the kids on snowmobile rides and they all enjoyed the day.

Jack had his mechanic’s licence as well as his electronics-repair licence and was very busy in the garage, working the farm, running our sawmill or fixing televisions, but we still managed to find time for family outings. I didn’t drive at that time, so he would take me visiting and I joined the Women’s Institute, where I met Louise, who became one of my best friends. Louise and Ross had two children, the oldest Stephen’s age, and they had applied for foster children too. I loved visiting them, and they came to our place a lot, so both families really got to know one another.

Louise helped her brother-in-law deliver the rural mail occasionally, and one day she told me they were getting a foster boy. I wanted to know our status with the children’s Aid Society and called, only to be told that we too would be getting a boy, four years old, with some problems.

We didn’t know what problems until we got PJ and found out, from his former foster mother, that he was brain-damaged and had terrible tantrums. The CAS never told us that and downplayed any questions we posed to them. The child was more than we could handle, and by fall we had to return him. Louise, in the meantime, got a nine-year-old who gave her no problems, and he became part of their family.

Towards the end of Stephen’s Grade 4 he began complaining about pains in his neck and the top of his head. We asked what he might have done and found out the younger brother of the bully next door was smacking all his text books on top of Stephen’s head each day as they were getting off the bus. I knew talking to the parents would do no good, so with the end of the school year here, we put him back into Holy Family School and a different bus drove him each day. We now had nothing further to do with that family, but after some thought realised that their children must have been jealous of Stephen and his position on their grandmother’s farm. I didn’t care what motivated them – I just wanted them to leave my son alone.

The next year went by without incident. Our sheep produced lambs in the spring, and at one point we had four babies to bottle-feed. They were kept in the open barn and would meet us at the gate for their feeding. If I wasn’t around, Jack had a hard time trying to hold four bottles without getting them bumped out his hands. One day we had friends visiting and their children each got to fee one lamb. Someone forgot to close the gate, though, and the next thing I knew, four lambs were bleating at my door for more milk. Bambi was now grown up, but still thought she should come to the house, and she came running behind the babies.

The old henhouse was cleaned up that spring and we bought chickens so we now had our own eggs as well. I was becoming quite a farmer’s wife, even growing my own vegetables. I sure was glad Mother made us kids help her plant and weed her garden – I was able to keep mine reasonably clean.

Jack was still flying his plane out of the airport during the summers, but in the winter he took off the wheels and put skis on and brought the plane to the farm. We have large power lines crossing our field and Jack would take off in their direction, either skimming over them or going under. Many times his friend who hunted with him had visions of Jack hitting the wires, but they always managed to take off safely.

Each fall the men would go moose hunting, and they first used the plane to spot where the moose were, then would come home, load their snowmobiles and drive to where they thought the animals were. Usually they couldn’t find them, but occasionally we had moose meat in our freezer. The game wardens frowned on spotting moose from the air and were always watchful for airplanes circling, but Jack and his friend would circle many, many areas, over the bush and over farmland, so they were never caught. I didn’t care for moose meat, but his mother liked it, as did his sisters, so we only had a bit in our freezer.

The airport started hosting air Shows and we would go to see the aerobatic planes do their stunts, as well as the Air Force jets flying by in precision. There were awards for different categories, and each year Jack won a trophy for having the oldest plane there. In the picture, Stephen’s there for one of the presentations. But Jack eventually wouldn’t let his plane be entered, giving others a chance to win.

During the March break I got a call from Mother to again take Jeff, who by now was in kindergarten. Sister wasn’t looking after him properly and Mother convinced her to send him to me. Louise’s husband Ross and his youngest son were taking a load of pigs to market in Toronto, so I got a ride with them to get Jeff. Ross returned the next day, but I stayed for a few days, bringing Jeff back by train. Oh how Jeff loved trains! He couldn’t get enough of the sights and smells of the Toronto station and wouldn’t sit still a minute once we entered our car.

I had no problems getting him into the public school kindergarten, and shortly after school began, picture day came. Jeff split his lip tripping on the stairs, and for his class picture looked like someone had hit him in the mouth.

I had to be hospitalised with bleeding, and a cyst was found on my ovary that had to be removed. I didn’t want to come back for another operation, so I asked them to take out the second ovary, but I was told they wouldn’t remove a healthy one. When I woke up, though, both were gone.

I took longer to recover from this operation and my hormones were all out of whack, so Louise took Jeff to her place for a while, until my medication stabilised my system. Jeff returned and finished kindergarten in Englehart, and his parents came in July to pick him up. I was so sad to see him go. I had him so often that he was like my own child, but his parents had their rights, so I had to let him go.

That summer Stephen was 12, and we allowed him to go on the train, by himself, to visit his grandmother. He felt so grown up. We had no problems. Mother met him in Toronto and he spent about a month in Hamilton, visiting Carolyn and her family. I didn’t see too much of Carolyn during those years, but we wrote to each other and I would visit when we had time.

Louise and I worked at the fall fair for the Women’s Institute, selling tickets on stuffed toys I had made. We took turns with other members sitting in the arena and made enough money to cover some costs as well as putting aside a bit. With nothing disrupting our daily life, the months flew by, and we again had to move Stephen to the public school. He was now in Grade 7 and his teacher didn’t want to put up with his fooling around in the class. I spoke to the public-school principal to see who would be the best Grade 7 teacher to deal with Stephen, and we chose Mr Henderson. We made the right decision, because after writing out the first page of his reader several times, Stephen buckled down and began to learn. Mr Henderson was strict but fair, and Stephen, who hated math, began to learn, and math became one of his best subjects.

Mother took him to his doctor to have the arm checked, and we were told that they would operate in January of ’74. I was delighted to have the arm straightened, but Stephen was so used to his arm only stretching so far that he didn’t see a need for going through the process.

Jack was busier than usual, and I wanted to visit Louise as well as go to the local sales barn, where they sold animals and other things. So I started learning to drive on an old, standard Corvair we had here. Boy, did I have trouble. When free, Jack would show me what to do, but he was so tense his feet almost went through the floor boards, so I just drove around the farm and on the back roads until I mastered that car. It was then that Jack let me drive his automatic Pontiac. Now I’m glad I learned on a standard.

The first time I tried for my licence, I failed parallel parking, but after more practice got it on my second attempt. Now there was no stopping me. I visited Louise, went to town and drove whenever Jack needed anything. When it was time for Stephen to go to Hamilton for the operation I felt capable enough to make the trip on my own, and after getting sage advice from Jack about driving on the triple lanes south of Barrie, we were off.

The weather here was clear but cold the day we left, but once we hit Huntsville we ran into a terrible snowstorm and I had trouble seeing the road. I was scared, but there was nothing to do except keep alert and drive on. Once Stephen yelled at me that we were too near the guardrail, and after almost colliding with the back of a transport truck, we pulled into a police Station to see how far this bad weather extended. They didn’t know, so we went on. When we got to the northern end of Barrie the snow stopped, the sky cleared and the stars were out. What an experience for my first major road trip, but I made it.

Hamilton had had a storm the day before, and all roads were snow-covered and icy, something I was used to driving in here at home, but people there just spun out or slid around. I had no trouble and got Stephen to the hospital in time for his admission. I visited every chance I could and brought Jeff in when he was available. Mother saw him almost every day since she worked at the hospital.

The operation was a success, and we were told that with normal use, Stephen should attain almost full use of his arm. We still had to see the doctor regularly, but now it was yearly. A follow-up visit was scheduled during the March break, when the cast would be removed. I again drove Stephen down and we visited the family of the boy who had been Stephen’s room mate during the operation.

We stopped at Brother’s place and I was surprised that Tony wasn’t allowed to come out to see us, but he could hear everything from his room. I felt sorry for the boy and asked if I could go to see him, and found him red-eyed from crying and very depressed. I talked to him and told him if he got permission, I would take him north with me and enrol him in Grade 8 in the public school. Tony’s mother was only too eager to get rid of him, and we told him we would be back for him after Stephen saw the doctor, giving him time to pack what he wanted to take with him. Tony brightened up so much and said he would be ready later that day, so I drove Stephen for his appointment, then picked up Tony.

Brother was home when we arrived and didn’t mind us taking his oldest son. In fact, I think he was secretly glad to get him away from his mother, so we went back to Mother’s, where I had to let Jack know that Tony was coming to live with us. Both boys were in Grade 8 at this time.

Once here, Tony fit right into our routine and we had no trouble with him. Now both boys would play with the new kids up the road and they had a lot of fun fishing and swimming in the creek. Stephen must have had too much fun that year because he failed his grades and had to repeat Grade 8, but Tony graduated from Englehart Public School and was now on his way to high school.

Continue to part 12.

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